Bad Fanfic
Oct. 12th, 2004 10:56 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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just_writingOkay, this may not mean much to many people - it's fanfiction for a relatively obscure TV series. I post it here partially to see if it's accessible to people outside the fandom; I suspect not at all, since fanfic, by its nature, is aimed at people who already know the setup. Witness the entirely skipped exposition scene. (I was thinking about including a brief overview of the show and its mechanics up here, but I've decided to field questions by way of comments instead. Think of it as an intellectual exercise.) Mostly, however, I'm positing it for general storytelling critiques.
It's largely an exercise in introducing a new character to an established mythos, but also an excuse to see whether I could write existing characters faithfully. Just so you know - I don't make a habit of this, it's my first fanfic.
Standard disclaimer: These characters are mine, except the ones who aren't. Copyrighted characters used for non-profit purposes only.
This story takes place between the third and fourth seasons of ReBoot.
It wasn't supposed to be this way.
Antimony Blue sat on the edge of the well, looking down into darkness. The boy wondered: Why was Neon acting like this all of a sudden? Yesterday he'd been as friendly as he'd ever been, but this morning he'd practically ignored Antimony. No, more than ignored; Neon had practically told him to get lost. Antimony grunted to himself. He had half a mind to do just that, up and leave. He would, too, if it wasn't for ...
No, Antimony chided himself. He knew perfectly well that he wouldn't let a little mood swing end their friendship, even if Ruby hadn't been involved. They'd known each other too long, and been through too much together, for that to happen. Besides, Neon Green often acted differently after they passed through the Mists.
Antimony sighed. Sooner or later they'd have to have a long talk about the obvious feelings each of them was developing for Ruby Red, but it would just have to wait. Today they would climb the mountain, confront Copperplate Black on the Roof Of The World, and save all of existence from The Omega Solution.
Just like last time.
****
AndrAIa peered over the wall. The boy seemed to be ... well, the word that leapt most readily to mind was 'brooding'. According to Bob, at this point in the Game the boy was having a hard time choosing between his friendship and his love. She shook her head in despair. Real sprites didn't react that way, she wanted to shout, a real sprite would grab what they wanted and never let go until they took it from your cold, dead fingers! Not quietly find a well and stare into it. User, this whole Game was just so entirely morose. She ducked back down and turned to Matrix. He had ReBooted as a scantily-clad barbarian type; she definitely approved. It was certainly more tasteful than her own flowing robe, which concealed far too much for her liking. "You're sure that's him?" she asked.
"Positive," the green sprite replied. "He's on the User's party but right now he's alone. And he's totally vital to the User winning the Game. We can pick him off now with no real trouble."
"Right," she nodded. A small part of her felt a little guilty about deleting a defenceless gamesprite. It was the part of her that felt that pang of regret every time they won the game and left the cube, that part of her that would remain forever Game. And he was AI, just like her. She steeled herself, summoned her warrior's heart. "And Bob's okay with this?"
She saw Matrix wince and instantly regretted saying anything. The big lug was still sorting out his own feelings towards Bob. She figured he was torn between his resentment of authority and his need for approval from The Great Bob. He'd held the Guardian up as a hero figure for so long as they travelled through the Games, and as they grew in experience and power naturally the memory of the Guardian grew too, into this mythic User-like being. It was quite a shock to the younger sprite's system (was he still younger? Nobody had actually bothered to do the math) to realise that, at the end of the day, Bob was just this sprite. A great sprite, sure, but still only a sprite. Enzo was having to come to terms with the fact that the sprite he'd looked up to all his life was now more or less his equal.
Of course, AndrAIa had known that all along; Bob wasn't half the sprite that her Enzo was, and never had been. But he had to realise it for himself. At least he wasn't staring down any wells.
"Bob's ... going along with it," said Matrix.
"Okay then," AndrAIa replied with the cheeky grin that she knew he loved so much. She felt sure he'd get it all figured out before too long, and he'd be fine as long as he didn't let it all spill over during some kind of major engagement. "Where is Bob, anyway?"
****
Bob was keeping an eye on the User from the shade of some trees. It was part of Matrix's plan; if it looked like the User was going to interrupt the fight he was to warn them. It was a reasonable plan, and now was as good a time as any to see what Matrix could do; this style of Game didn't have much of a time limit, and there was nothing pressing going on back in the virtual world that they had to hurry back to.
He hadn't ReBooted yet. If all went well, he wouldn't have to. If he was honest with himself, he was actually a little worried about the mechanics of it. Back before - when he'd been two seperate units, Guardian and Keytool - Glitch had never ReBooted. Whatever changes were worked on himself or his accessories, the Keytool had always remained utterly unchanged. Parts of Glitch were now a part of him, permanently - if hastily - grafted into his code. What if that part of him was unable to interface with the Game's code? What would happen to the rest of him? He didn't want to risk it yet, not as long as Matrix and AndrAIa were around to lend a hand.
On the other hand, maybe it would be better to find out now, before it became important. His hand wavered over his icon for a moment.
No, he decided, not now. Not yet.
****
Matrix nodded, and the duo leapt over the low wall towards the lone gamesprite. The boy looked up with an expression of total surprise. This would be easier than he'd thought, he wasn't even armed, and -
- a moment of discontinuity -
- and suddenly the three of them were standing in a slightly different place. It looked a lot like the town square that the boy's well had been in, but not quite the same. It had - what - a bit more depth? The boy looked different too, better proportioned and more defined. Also he was holding an enormous polearm. Matrix and AndrAIa were no longer running, but instead were standing side by side facing the boy in a neat and orderly fashion.
"What the frag-?" Matrix swore. He made a move to attack, found himself rooted firmly to the spot. His partner narrowed her eyes, readying herself for their opponent's attack.
They faced off for a moment, staring each other down.
Another moment passed.
"Come on!" the boy cried impatiently. "Make a move! Let's get this over with."
"What in the ... You're the one who's waiting!" growled Matrix.
"Because it's her turn," shouted the boy. The words, it seemed, only registered as they came out - his expression shifted from annoyance to confusion as he wondered, surely everyone should know whose turn it was?
"Turn-based combat," AndrAIa realised. "He can't do anything until I attack or pass! We don't have to fight him, we can - negotiate," she added, turning to Matrix. He glared.
"We should get this over with," he announced, echoing the boy's sentiments from a few moments earlier.
"What kind of enemies are you?" asked Antimony. He dug the butt of his polearm into the ground, apparently relaxed now it didn't seem his attackers were interested in a fight. AndrAIa could tell that the shift in posture was mostly cosmetic - the boy was, if anything, more prepared for a sudden attack than before. The slightest hostile move, and he would snap back into combat mode. She'd seen it a thousand times in the Games: Gamesprites never really let their guard down. That's what a life of combat does to you, she thought ruefully.
"We don't have to be enemies," she said, in answer to his question. "All we want is to win the Game. To help our friends, and family. That doesn't necessarily involve hurting you..."
"Game? What are you talking about?" Antimony asked. He glanced at the woman's companion. Matrix was standing ready to attack as soon as the Game would let him; in the mean time he was making himself look big, and occasionally flexing dangerously. Antimony was unfazed. He'd seen a lot uglier. "Is this about the Omega Solution?" he asked the woman.
"A little," she replied. "Let me explain."
****
"I had no idea," said Antimony Blue. They had ended the fight, by mutual consent, and were sitting around the well. The woman's explanation was extraordinary, but made sense of everything - Neon's changing behaviour, the endless quests, the sense of déjà vu. More than a sense, he now realised. They really had been up the mountain a thousand times before. He was nothing more than the plaything of beings so far beyond himself that they may as well have been the Gods themselves.
"So..." AndrAIa paused for a moment, trying to be sympathetic. She'd just told the boy his whole world was a lie, he needed time to assimilate. But they wanted to finish up before the User returned from his side quest. She decided to press the point. "So you'll help us?"
Antimony considered briefly. "Well. I could. I have - this is my portion of the Unity Device," he said, holding out a hand. A fragment of a symbol appeared in the air above his palm, solidifying into blue-tinted stained glass before floating there, spinning slowly. "If you destroy that, then Black's won. All of existence," he noted sourly, regarding their surroundings, "will be doomed. But I guess that means you get your city block back." AndrAIa nodded.
"But," the boy added, and the fragment disappeared as he closed his hand. "There's a condition. You have to take me with you."
The Mainframers looked at one another. Matrix's gaze said, we don't have to tell him. AndrAIa's, we do.
"That's ... sort of do-able," she said. Matrix grunted, heaved himself to his feet, and moved a short distance away. Ostensibly to keep an eye out for Bob or the User, but she could tell he was sulking. She grinned, thinking about the fun of making up that would come later, but then quickly put on her serious face again. This would tear the boy apart, she knew. Literally.
"You're too much a part of the Game to remove wholesale," she continued. "But there's a way to take a part of you out. Our icons," she indicated her belt buckle, "store every last bit of information about us. If you want it enough, if you pour everything about yourself onto one of these, we can recreate you outside."
The boy frowned. It didn't make a lot of sense, but he thought he could see the edges of it. "But ... it wouldn't be me? It would be like ... a copy of me?"
"Exactly like a copy," Matrix said over his shoulder. In much the same way that Antimony, earlier, had told them it was AndrAIa's turn.
"It would still be you," she agreed. "Exactly the same, up until the moment you save yourself."
"I don't know," Antimony hesitated. "I'm not sure I could be happy out there, knowing a part of me is still in here. And without Ruby, and Neon. Even if he is only a ... you know. He's still my best friend. And there's really nothing for me out there." He said it sadly, like he wanted to be talked into it.
"I understand," the older gamesprite said sympathetically. Even as an AI you were a slave to your core code. She was an undersea warrior, he was a best friend. And that's what they always would be. She was slightly wistful, remembering her own escape. Before she met Enzo, she probably wouldn't have been able to do it. But just talking with him, just watching him talk, was enough to give her the strength. You had to want to go more than you wanted to stay, and she had wanted to be with the young sprite more than she'd ever wanted anything before.
Something connected in her mind.
"Of course," she said out loud, "I know for sure there's a little boy out there who's in desperate need of a friend..."
"A ... friend?" the boy asked haltingly. He seemed to make a decision, inside. "Well ... I mean, it's not like I'd be abandoning Neon, right? He'll still have ... me ... I mean ... How do I do it?"
"Just want it," she replied. "Reach out, and touch it." It was simplistic, but that was the only way she could describe it. After all, she'd only done it the once, herself.
Antimony Blue closed his eyes and thought about everything that made him him. Thought about Ruby Red, and Neon Green, and their fight against Copperplate Black. Realised how terribly false it all was, now, but it was all he had. He bundled it up in his mind and reached out, and pushed -
****
- and suddenly he was somewhere else. Somewhere entirely else. Bright colours, sharp edges. The hustle and bustle of an entire electronic city, returning to normal as the disaster passed. In front of him, AndrAIa grinned at him and dusted off her icon, having released his copied self from it moments before.
A voice behind him shouted something incomprehensible, followed by a stream of chatter. "All right, big me! Come on, tell me all about the Game! Was it scary? Was it wierd? What was it like? Hey - who's that?" Antimony turned to see the speaker - a smaller version of Matrix was interrogating the large man, and had apparently just noticed the new arrival. AndrAIa bent down to answer - "Antimony, this is Enzo. He's the boy I told you about."
"Hi," Antimony Blue said to his new best friend. He added with a smile: "You're green."
It's largely an exercise in introducing a new character to an established mythos, but also an excuse to see whether I could write existing characters faithfully. Just so you know - I don't make a habit of this, it's my first fanfic.
Standard disclaimer: These characters are mine, except the ones who aren't. Copyrighted characters used for non-profit purposes only.
This story takes place between the third and fourth seasons of ReBoot.
Blue
It wasn't supposed to be this way.
Antimony Blue sat on the edge of the well, looking down into darkness. The boy wondered: Why was Neon acting like this all of a sudden? Yesterday he'd been as friendly as he'd ever been, but this morning he'd practically ignored Antimony. No, more than ignored; Neon had practically told him to get lost. Antimony grunted to himself. He had half a mind to do just that, up and leave. He would, too, if it wasn't for ...
No, Antimony chided himself. He knew perfectly well that he wouldn't let a little mood swing end their friendship, even if Ruby hadn't been involved. They'd known each other too long, and been through too much together, for that to happen. Besides, Neon Green often acted differently after they passed through the Mists.
Antimony sighed. Sooner or later they'd have to have a long talk about the obvious feelings each of them was developing for Ruby Red, but it would just have to wait. Today they would climb the mountain, confront Copperplate Black on the Roof Of The World, and save all of existence from The Omega Solution.
Just like last time.
****
AndrAIa peered over the wall. The boy seemed to be ... well, the word that leapt most readily to mind was 'brooding'. According to Bob, at this point in the Game the boy was having a hard time choosing between his friendship and his love. She shook her head in despair. Real sprites didn't react that way, she wanted to shout, a real sprite would grab what they wanted and never let go until they took it from your cold, dead fingers! Not quietly find a well and stare into it. User, this whole Game was just so entirely morose. She ducked back down and turned to Matrix. He had ReBooted as a scantily-clad barbarian type; she definitely approved. It was certainly more tasteful than her own flowing robe, which concealed far too much for her liking. "You're sure that's him?" she asked.
"Positive," the green sprite replied. "He's on the User's party but right now he's alone. And he's totally vital to the User winning the Game. We can pick him off now with no real trouble."
"Right," she nodded. A small part of her felt a little guilty about deleting a defenceless gamesprite. It was the part of her that felt that pang of regret every time they won the game and left the cube, that part of her that would remain forever Game. And he was AI, just like her. She steeled herself, summoned her warrior's heart. "And Bob's okay with this?"
She saw Matrix wince and instantly regretted saying anything. The big lug was still sorting out his own feelings towards Bob. She figured he was torn between his resentment of authority and his need for approval from The Great Bob. He'd held the Guardian up as a hero figure for so long as they travelled through the Games, and as they grew in experience and power naturally the memory of the Guardian grew too, into this mythic User-like being. It was quite a shock to the younger sprite's system (was he still younger? Nobody had actually bothered to do the math) to realise that, at the end of the day, Bob was just this sprite. A great sprite, sure, but still only a sprite. Enzo was having to come to terms with the fact that the sprite he'd looked up to all his life was now more or less his equal.
Of course, AndrAIa had known that all along; Bob wasn't half the sprite that her Enzo was, and never had been. But he had to realise it for himself. At least he wasn't staring down any wells.
"Bob's ... going along with it," said Matrix.
"Okay then," AndrAIa replied with the cheeky grin that she knew he loved so much. She felt sure he'd get it all figured out before too long, and he'd be fine as long as he didn't let it all spill over during some kind of major engagement. "Where is Bob, anyway?"
****
Bob was keeping an eye on the User from the shade of some trees. It was part of Matrix's plan; if it looked like the User was going to interrupt the fight he was to warn them. It was a reasonable plan, and now was as good a time as any to see what Matrix could do; this style of Game didn't have much of a time limit, and there was nothing pressing going on back in the virtual world that they had to hurry back to.
He hadn't ReBooted yet. If all went well, he wouldn't have to. If he was honest with himself, he was actually a little worried about the mechanics of it. Back before - when he'd been two seperate units, Guardian and Keytool - Glitch had never ReBooted. Whatever changes were worked on himself or his accessories, the Keytool had always remained utterly unchanged. Parts of Glitch were now a part of him, permanently - if hastily - grafted into his code. What if that part of him was unable to interface with the Game's code? What would happen to the rest of him? He didn't want to risk it yet, not as long as Matrix and AndrAIa were around to lend a hand.
On the other hand, maybe it would be better to find out now, before it became important. His hand wavered over his icon for a moment.
No, he decided, not now. Not yet.
****
Matrix nodded, and the duo leapt over the low wall towards the lone gamesprite. The boy looked up with an expression of total surprise. This would be easier than he'd thought, he wasn't even armed, and -
- a moment of discontinuity -
- and suddenly the three of them were standing in a slightly different place. It looked a lot like the town square that the boy's well had been in, but not quite the same. It had - what - a bit more depth? The boy looked different too, better proportioned and more defined. Also he was holding an enormous polearm. Matrix and AndrAIa were no longer running, but instead were standing side by side facing the boy in a neat and orderly fashion.
"What the frag-?" Matrix swore. He made a move to attack, found himself rooted firmly to the spot. His partner narrowed her eyes, readying herself for their opponent's attack.
They faced off for a moment, staring each other down.
Another moment passed.
"Come on!" the boy cried impatiently. "Make a move! Let's get this over with."
"What in the ... You're the one who's waiting!" growled Matrix.
"Because it's her turn," shouted the boy. The words, it seemed, only registered as they came out - his expression shifted from annoyance to confusion as he wondered, surely everyone should know whose turn it was?
"Turn-based combat," AndrAIa realised. "He can't do anything until I attack or pass! We don't have to fight him, we can - negotiate," she added, turning to Matrix. He glared.
"We should get this over with," he announced, echoing the boy's sentiments from a few moments earlier.
"What kind of enemies are you?" asked Antimony. He dug the butt of his polearm into the ground, apparently relaxed now it didn't seem his attackers were interested in a fight. AndrAIa could tell that the shift in posture was mostly cosmetic - the boy was, if anything, more prepared for a sudden attack than before. The slightest hostile move, and he would snap back into combat mode. She'd seen it a thousand times in the Games: Gamesprites never really let their guard down. That's what a life of combat does to you, she thought ruefully.
"We don't have to be enemies," she said, in answer to his question. "All we want is to win the Game. To help our friends, and family. That doesn't necessarily involve hurting you..."
"Game? What are you talking about?" Antimony asked. He glanced at the woman's companion. Matrix was standing ready to attack as soon as the Game would let him; in the mean time he was making himself look big, and occasionally flexing dangerously. Antimony was unfazed. He'd seen a lot uglier. "Is this about the Omega Solution?" he asked the woman.
"A little," she replied. "Let me explain."
****
"I had no idea," said Antimony Blue. They had ended the fight, by mutual consent, and were sitting around the well. The woman's explanation was extraordinary, but made sense of everything - Neon's changing behaviour, the endless quests, the sense of déjà vu. More than a sense, he now realised. They really had been up the mountain a thousand times before. He was nothing more than the plaything of beings so far beyond himself that they may as well have been the Gods themselves.
"So..." AndrAIa paused for a moment, trying to be sympathetic. She'd just told the boy his whole world was a lie, he needed time to assimilate. But they wanted to finish up before the User returned from his side quest. She decided to press the point. "So you'll help us?"
Antimony considered briefly. "Well. I could. I have - this is my portion of the Unity Device," he said, holding out a hand. A fragment of a symbol appeared in the air above his palm, solidifying into blue-tinted stained glass before floating there, spinning slowly. "If you destroy that, then Black's won. All of existence," he noted sourly, regarding their surroundings, "will be doomed. But I guess that means you get your city block back." AndrAIa nodded.
"But," the boy added, and the fragment disappeared as he closed his hand. "There's a condition. You have to take me with you."
The Mainframers looked at one another. Matrix's gaze said, we don't have to tell him. AndrAIa's, we do.
"That's ... sort of do-able," she said. Matrix grunted, heaved himself to his feet, and moved a short distance away. Ostensibly to keep an eye out for Bob or the User, but she could tell he was sulking. She grinned, thinking about the fun of making up that would come later, but then quickly put on her serious face again. This would tear the boy apart, she knew. Literally.
"You're too much a part of the Game to remove wholesale," she continued. "But there's a way to take a part of you out. Our icons," she indicated her belt buckle, "store every last bit of information about us. If you want it enough, if you pour everything about yourself onto one of these, we can recreate you outside."
The boy frowned. It didn't make a lot of sense, but he thought he could see the edges of it. "But ... it wouldn't be me? It would be like ... a copy of me?"
"Exactly like a copy," Matrix said over his shoulder. In much the same way that Antimony, earlier, had told them it was AndrAIa's turn.
"It would still be you," she agreed. "Exactly the same, up until the moment you save yourself."
"I don't know," Antimony hesitated. "I'm not sure I could be happy out there, knowing a part of me is still in here. And without Ruby, and Neon. Even if he is only a ... you know. He's still my best friend. And there's really nothing for me out there." He said it sadly, like he wanted to be talked into it.
"I understand," the older gamesprite said sympathetically. Even as an AI you were a slave to your core code. She was an undersea warrior, he was a best friend. And that's what they always would be. She was slightly wistful, remembering her own escape. Before she met Enzo, she probably wouldn't have been able to do it. But just talking with him, just watching him talk, was enough to give her the strength. You had to want to go more than you wanted to stay, and she had wanted to be with the young sprite more than she'd ever wanted anything before.
Something connected in her mind.
"Of course," she said out loud, "I know for sure there's a little boy out there who's in desperate need of a friend..."
"A ... friend?" the boy asked haltingly. He seemed to make a decision, inside. "Well ... I mean, it's not like I'd be abandoning Neon, right? He'll still have ... me ... I mean ... How do I do it?"
"Just want it," she replied. "Reach out, and touch it." It was simplistic, but that was the only way she could describe it. After all, she'd only done it the once, herself.
Antimony Blue closed his eyes and thought about everything that made him him. Thought about Ruby Red, and Neon Green, and their fight against Copperplate Black. Realised how terribly false it all was, now, but it was all he had. He bundled it up in his mind and reached out, and pushed -
****
- and suddenly he was somewhere else. Somewhere entirely else. Bright colours, sharp edges. The hustle and bustle of an entire electronic city, returning to normal as the disaster passed. In front of him, AndrAIa grinned at him and dusted off her icon, having released his copied self from it moments before.
A voice behind him shouted something incomprehensible, followed by a stream of chatter. "All right, big me! Come on, tell me all about the Game! Was it scary? Was it wierd? What was it like? Hey - who's that?" Antimony turned to see the speaker - a smaller version of Matrix was interrogating the large man, and had apparently just noticed the new arrival. AndrAIa bent down to answer - "Antimony, this is Enzo. He's the boy I told you about."
"Hi," Antimony Blue said to his new best friend. He added with a smile: "You're green."
